Every human being has faced a situation in the past or a moment in their life when they have made a mistake or poor decision in their life, and they want to forgive themselves for what they did. I know perfectly well how it feels to live with a loop of constant questions of ‘what if, why, how could I have done that, etc.’ Nothing feels worse than being unable to face yourself squarely in the mirror because you cannot erase your past mistakes. You cannot accept yourself and life as it is without the pain of not being able to go back and change it all.
Let us stop for a brief moment, take a deep breath, and soak in my words – “time cannot be turned back.” What you once thought was a smart decision, the best-case scenario, or the right choice of words might not resonate with you now. That does not mean that you ought to judge yourself every minute of the day. Self-judgment is the worst kind of judgment because it literally sickens your mind. When your thoughts are contaminated, they slowly start to sicken your body as well. The lack of self-forgiveness is like ivy growing along the side of a house that will destroy the structure and foundation, slowly but surely.
Speaking from personal experience and through the numerous encounters I have had with my clients, I know how it feels to hate the mornings when a stream of judging thoughts repeatedly attacks.
About 15 years ago I met one of my very first clients; let’s call her “Mary.” I only knew that she wanted to lose 50 lbs. She identified herself as her body, but that is a topic that I will save for an entirely different blog. As a first step in helping Mary with her goal of losing weight, I began to look a little deeper. It became clear that a mindset full of guilt, shame, and self-judgment that caused her to gain the weight was the same that prevented her from losing it.
Several years prior, Mary had been the head cheerleader at her university. Cheerleading was her passion, and it was what she lived to do. One day, as she was coming home from cheer practice, she was sexually violated. While the violation itself would be a horrible experience for anyone to experience, Mary’s takeaway may have brought her an equal or greater amount of pain.
In her mind, the assault would not have happened if she had looked less attractive. Due to her appearance, she had asked for it somehow and would have been safe if she was less appealing. Mary carried this judgment and shame around inside of her for the next 15 years, during which time she refused to ever make eye contact with herself in the mirror and gained 50 lbs. Her mindset contributed greatly to this, as she subconsciously gained weight in an effort to make herself more unattractive to protect herself (again, subconsciously) and keep herself safe from another attack. The shame isolated her from her friends, and she began to drift in and out of D.R.I.L.T.H.
Depression
Resentment
Insanity
Loneliness
Turmoil, creating a personal
Hell
You will remain in the vicious cycle of D.R.I.L.T.H. if you continue spending most of your time being mad and angry at yourself, without the will to cut this destructive way of living. You then create a crooked picture of yourself that has been warped through negativity, complaining, self-hatred, and self-pity. I am sure that you do not want to feel this way anymore, just as Mary didn’t.
It is time for you to break this pattern now and to start loving and forgiving yourself for a change. Your spirit already knows what you need to do, and this is why you are here, reading my post and nodding. Your soul feels that this burden is weighing you down, literally. You can feel it in the form of insomnia, sadness, depression, eating when you are not hungry, not eating at all, etc.
The first step towards self-forgiveness is becoming ready to take responsibility for your actions. This is the realization that as a grown woman, you are a smart lady who is sick and tired of her self-destructive stream of thoughts as well as her lack of will to understand that “perfection” is nothing but a word.
It will be a challenge, but this is where I offer you my hand. I am here WITH you and FOR you. I want to help you see your inner beauty and break the convictions that you have learned, believed, and decided to carry like the clothes on your back, making them define you.
My mission is to help you see yourself, your true self – the strong, powerful, and inspiring person you are. I want to guide you on the path that you intuitively know you should be on. Once you make the first step you will know that it is possible to accept, forgive, and heal yourself while recognizing and ditching all of the useless worries that are sucking out your energy.
Learning to FlyI know that you can do this, as I have empowered thousands of women before who once felt the wings on their backs and were no longer afraid to spread them. When a woman is free to fly away from everything that is holding her down, she is willing to encourage other women to fly as well.
I am truly looking forward to the beginning of our mission and your enlightenment.
