“Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life.”
Leo Buscaglia
If I were to ask you to describe yourself, what would you say? You might answer me the way you’d fill out a personal profile or biography, telling me what you do for a living, the hobbies you love, your accomplishments, the causes that give your life meaning, and you may describe your family and tell me all about your kids. But what if I told you that none of these things form the true core of your identity?
What you really are, is love: pure love. Everything in your life is simply an extension of the love that you are. Your job, or calling, caring for your family, raising your children, all of these are the ways in which your love is made real in the world and are reflections of the love you are. When you appreciate the beauty in another, the glory you see is your own. When you wonder at the brilliance of another, the genius you recognize is your own. Know that we only feel love because it is already within us. It is us.
We do not, of course, feel loving or loved every minute of our lives, but this does not take away from the fact that love is your true identity. The range of emotions we may experience each day is simply a barometer for how in or out of touch we are with ourselves in each moment. Grief and sadness are so painful because they are further away from love than contentment or annoyance. The closer you are to realizing the love that you are, the better you feel, and the further away from love you drift, the worse you feel. Negative emotions hurt precisely because at a very deep level we know the only truth is love, and this pain is a reminder to turn back for home.
When we are able to recognize pain as a message to rediscover our identity in love, we no longer get stuck in suffering and self-sabotage. But many of us are out of touch with our true identity. We have practiced stress and insecurity so much we have forgotten the ease and peace of the love at our core. Here is a very simple but powerful exercise you can use to heal your self-perception and find this inner identity of love. All you need is 5 minutes, a mirror, and a little bit of courage:
First, stand or sit facing a mirror. No particular size of a mirror is required, but it is important that you are able to look at yourself in the eyes.
This may not be totally successful the first time you try it but keep at it. As you engage with this exercise, you will, in time, again recognize the pure love and peace that is you. Many people find this exercise very difficult at first and resist holding eye contact with themselves. You may also feel waves of different emotions; in fact, some people become overwhelmed with tears, others with laughter. Do your best to just accept whatever comes up for you, this is a process. Sit with yourself in compassion. You have likely been holding yourself back from the love at your core and have become more familiar and comfortable in insecurity. This is not something you have done wrong: the love within has not been touched, destroyed, or altered in any way. You are whole and you have always been whole, this realization is waiting for you.
