If there’s one thing you can be sure about as you pursue your goals, it’s setbacks and plateaus. Success is not a straight line: it takes unexpected twists and turns, and in retrospect, often appears more like a young child’s doodle than a planned route. Even though we all understand this intellectually, it can be demoralizing and even convince us we have failed. Progress is the best motivator, so when we feel we have stalled it can be very difficult to push ourselves to keep going. Our actions feel pointless and empty, and this is usually the point in the process where our old habits creep upon us.
The key to persevering through setbacks and plateaus is to change your perspective about success. Many of us think of success as an event: a destination where we finally arrive and our life is transformed. We don’t dream about the day-in-day-out work of heading to the gym every day and eating well, we dream of the moment we’ll step on the scale and those stubborn 20 lbs are finally gone. The greatest favor you can do for your dreams is to refocus your concept of success and think about it as a process, rather than as a final target.
Cultivate an attitude of loving your journey, in all its twists and turns. Look for the immediate benefits of your day-to-day routine. If you’re working on fitness, for example, look for the immediate rewards of a single, great workout: the boost of energy, the pride of following through with a commitment, how great water tastes when you’re recovering, the lightness of your body. Begin to associate positive feelings with the actual process you undertake each day. Nothing is too small to appreciate. Look for any small source of joy, peace, or self-esteem. Really drill into the benefits of each day’s effort. You may find yourself, over time, starting to crave these day-to-day rituals more than the end goal you have in mind.
Don’t be afraid to have a sense of humor about the surprises your goal can throw at you. What’s hard about this is letting go of the need to feel in control all the time. We have a specific vision for our success and when we feel ourselves drifting into an unforeseen territory, we panic. It’s not possible to predict what every step of our journey will look like, or how our unique dream is going to unfold for us. Trust the journey and that the universe knows what’s truly in your best interest. Focus on being mindful of each step and appreciate the scenery.
Life is a succession of journeys, punctuated by the moments we consider to be our great failures and successes. But success and failure are only moments, and they pass as quickly as they arise. If most of your life is going to be spent on a journey, why not open yourself up to enjoying the process? Embrace the process, with all its progress and set-backs, because it’s where you live.
